Confessions of a dog owner

Posted: February 6, 2012 in Family, Musings, Writing
Tags: , , ,

Boo me now – but I have never been a dog person.

I know they’re cute, they’re loyal and they love unconditionally. But they also stink, they’re needy, they have fleas.

They have some seriously distasteful licking and eating habits, and lordy lordy, don’t get me started on their by-products. The very thought of picking up a hot steaming pile of doggy-do has always left me cold. Sweaty, clammy, full-body-shuddery, cold.

For years I resisted our children’s pleas for a dog. My excuse was always the same: my dance card was full.

I didn’t have a spare hour in my day to walk/worm/wash/wipe up after a dog. Besides, the older two already had a dog at their mum’s; the younger two would just have to make do with the cat.

I held firm until the night our eleven year old woke to find a prowler standing over her bed. The next day, I started the search for a dog.

What we needed was obvious. Something that would defend our children with its life. Something that would strike fear into the heart of a would-be home invader. Something that would bark like a slavering hound from hell the moment any evil doer set foot on our property.

What we got was this…

Something so fearsome we named him Huggy.

Something so intelligent that friends and family started referring to him as the Derek Zoolander of beagles – really, really, really good looking….but not very bright.

Something so brave he lives in fear of the cat.

Something that likes to roll in dead cockroaches.

Something that smells so bad (even for a dog), that I eventually asked the vet if there was something wrong with him. (Delicacy prevents me from going into his anal gland problem, but considering that his Daddy is a gastroenterologist, he is one faulty unit).

Despite his flaws, I have succumbed. He sleeps on the front verandah and his ballsy baritone bark can be heard in Biloela if anyone dares to open the front gate.

To thank him for his night time vigilance, I pick up his poos without complaint and let him sleep on my bed during the day (but only on Daddy’s side, because they both tend to shed).

I am now a dog tragic. My conversion is complete. I feel sorry for my former dogless self.

I used to hate needy; now I am needy.

I need someone in my life who greets each and every day with unbridled enthusiasm. Who eats any old crap I care to dish up – and loves it. Who pushes me out of the way to clean up the cat vomit. Who loves my kids just as much I do.

Happy birthday Huggy.

We love you. You’re a good dog, a very good dog, oh yes you are!

  1. Karen Brooks says:

    What a gorgeous post! I am a needy dog (and cat) tragic from waaaaay back. Huggy looks beautiful, Chris and is clearly a very loved and loving member of the Bongers clan. Thanks for this – love it. And yes, I have two dogs to clean up six cats’ vomit. Very handy :)) LOL!

  2. chrisbongers says:

    Karen, you make me laugh – six cats and two dogs, what a fun household yours must be! You’d know all about that special place in your heart that pets open up. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I laughed so loud reading this! What a wonderful post ๐Ÿ™‚ I am a dog lover myself, we own a labrador who shares many traits with your huggy (although thankfully not the, ahem, anal gland issue).
    Nowadays if the cat vomits, we pretend not to notice it and wait for the dog to clean it up ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. chrisbongers says:

    OMGTammy, I do that too!
    Huggy is a never-ending source of amusement at our place – he’s even inspired a character in my latest YA novel! Thanks for dropping by. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I shared this on Facebook and two of my friends have so far hit the ‘like’ button ๐Ÿ™‚ You’ve struck a chord with dog lovers the world over! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. chrisbongers says:

    Thanks Tammy, you’ll make my Hugstar a superstar!

  7. Karen Burke says:

    Oh Chrissy, I could’ve written this myself. I HATED dogs and dog-people and dog crap and dog-anything. Now…… well what can I say but, Polly (the cutest Schnauzer alive) and I are in lerve!

    So, now I know how you feel about your baby. I’ve joined the club.

  8. chrisbongers says:

    It’s like having kids, Karen. If you haven’t got them, their charm is often lost on you!

  9. sue knight says:

    Finally you got it and sucumbed, well done. I love it when you get home and they are sooo excited to greet you. love my dog

  10. chrisbongers says:

    Sue, I love my dog too. Can’t imagine life without him. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. […] [If you want to see just how much my humans have always loved me – click on this linkย Confessions of a dog owner | Christine Bongers] […]

  12. Roger says:

    Christine, I have only just stumbled onto this thread whilst trying to book you to come and talk at our school. I too was denied dog access for many years. 5 years ago our family were blessed to be joined by our Rhodesian Ridgeback Alle (Ella, my daughter, backwards) and I think it is fair to say that most of the things that we love best involve a lead, a small baggy or some residual brown hair in the lounge.

    • chrisbongers says:

      Thanks Roger, I think I’ll name my next dog Joy, because that’s what they bring into our lives!
      (PS And hopefully we’ll meet when I visit your school :))

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s