Posts Tagged ‘Happy Mother’s Day’

I’ve had a fall and have gone in the fetlock.

If I were a horse, they’d have me put down.

Even more alarming, I can’t fit into any of my (sob) shoes.

Now normally, this wouldn’t faze me. I work at home, in dacks of track, and shoes are an optional extra.

But May and Mother’s Day bring invitations that require more than the usual gussying up.

This year it was an address to my favourite mums from St Ambrose’s School at the trendy Iceworks Restaurant in Paddington. Dead sexy heels or glamorous boots were de rigueur for the occasion.

Unfortunately, my fankle and the purple blow-up foot at the end of it, just couldn’t handle the stress of heels.

I could walk, or at least hobble, but the only shoe I could squeeze into were my birkencrocs.

Now, I do love my Birkis – I have three pairs and sent my Mum some for Mother’s Day to her great delight – but they’re not what I reach for when I want to frock up.

Amongst more than a hundred lovely ladies sashaying around in edgy boots, teetering platforms, peep toes and stilettos, I stood out like the proverbial, with an elephantine ankle, bandaged and stuffed into a nana croc.

Looking down at my great swelling cankle, the compression bandage showing through my stockings, I had a vision of my future. I could hear the wise words of a dear friend’s 101-year-old grandmother: ‘Look after your feet, dear. They have to hold you up for a very long time.’

So it is with great sadness that I bid adieu to my budding indoor netball career. It’s been fun girls, but now I have to bow out.

In one of life’s touching ironies, my little guy gave me a glass slipper for Mother’s Day that gives me hope.

After the swelling subsides, I plan to be good to my feet … and hopefully will continue to show off a neatly turned ankle until well into my dotage.

My Mum turns 80 this year; my Mum-in-law is 83.

Both were born into the Great Depression and World War Two, have endured the deaths of husbands and parents, and lived rich lives which include 13 children, 33 grandchildren, and 2 great-grandchildren between them.

Resilience and a sense of humour have made them much-loved by their large extended families. They have earned their right to be heard, so this Mother’s Day, here’s a little selection from the chocolate box of Nana sayings treasured by both sides of the family.

“Oooh, you wouldn’t want that as a wart over your eye.” (Happy is the well-endowed family member immortalised in that bon mot).

“It’s as cold as a step-mother’s breath.” (The politically-correct fairy didn’t make it to Nana’s christening, but my step-kids and I still laugh at this one).

‘Love all, trust few, always paddle your own canoe” (Advice to my sixteen-year-old self, heading off to the Big Smoke).

“I wish I’d been more like you, dear; I wasted too many of my best years doing housework.’ (A classic Nana back-hander).

‘Don’t bust your foofer valve.” (Not on housework, I haven’t, Nana ;))

“Honestly, he couldn’t run a bath.” (A genuine Nana-ism only when accompanied by the legendary Nana sniff).

‘Does anyone want my potato?’ (Note the singular; that’s how Nana (far right of photo) has kept her girlish figure all these long years.)

Please feel free to share your own favourites below and Happy Mother’s Day to everyone who is a Mum and to everyone else who loves their Mum. :)